blogger janie black and her computer

Therapy

It has been a bad week, blog-wise.

First, someone I thought was a friend expressed “sorrow” at my “gender struggle.”

Then, no less than four others responded to my next post with a recommendation that I get therapy, one of them going so far as to liken trying to find one’s way on her own to representing oneself in legal proceedings – invoking the well-known saying that a person who is her own lawyer has a fool for a client.

I also like sayings – and the more appropriate one for today is: if three people tell you you’re drunk, lie down.

If three people tell you you’re drunk, lie down.

A blog tends to develop a culture of its own. You put provocative thoughts out there and, depending on who sees your blog and who comments, they may respond with equally provocative analyses, opinion or conversation… or they may just tell you to get help.

Writing this blog had several goals for me. I wanted to get my thoughts out there for discussion, to see if others had similar or opposing ideas, and to clarify my own thoughts. I wanted to share my experiences and doubts so that others who are lost or confused or just curious could find a place where they could find answers, or at least good questions – and know that they are not alone. It would have been nice if others had been motivated to share their own experiences and if there had been vibrant discussion about the many topics covered. I was also hoping that some people would find inspiration in following my progression. And finally, I was hoping that people would come to know me and perhaps I might find some good friendships out of the deal.

All of which has come to naught. It is starting to emerge that I am just making myself look like a lost and pitiable soul, which is far from the truth and still farther from my intentions. (I suppose I always knew that was a risk when discussing such personal matters.)

My Own Therapy

 

And so before it gets any worse, like the saying goes, I am going to “lie down” – or at least lay down my pen. I am going to take some time to try to figure out where this blog went astray and decide whether it is worthwhile to resume writing it with a somehow different approach.

In the meantime, I can benefit from living without being attached to this blog. I have sometimes wondered whether I am more a t-girl blogger than a t-girl – don’t worry if you don’t understand; I do. Point is, getting away and living my life without writing about it may be a good thing – therapeutic even.

It will also give me more time to focus on photography and modeling. So, for those of you who are interested in that side of me – who see me more as attractive than afflicted, intelligent rather than in trouble, channeling pretty rather than pity – you should start to see more content on this site, here in the blog section as well as the Galleries, though I intend to enjoy a total break for a while first.

I also hope to finally get going on the Taste section too.

As much as I am disappointed in how my first shot at blogging has turned out, I am hopeful that I will learn valuable lessons from the post-mortem and from the experience of separating myself from it.

Thanks for listening…