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2012Gift Horse, Mouth–Need I Say More?
As I throw around the idea of whether Janie’s place in my life is for good or not, it helps to remember that my experience so far has been something like having the Red Sea parted to allow me to walk, in heels, down life’s road.
So many CDs or tgirls are confronted by daunting obstacles in their efforts to become what they need to be. They show courage and perseverance and determination, and often suffer through heart-wrenching compromises. I salute them.
I often ask myself whether I wouldn’t have quit in the face of their challenges. But, I also wonder why I keep questioning something that, it seems, I was destined for, if for no other reason than that it has been so easy.
I am the right size, and the right proportions. I have feminine facial features (well some, anyway). I can buy my clothes off the rack in regular stores and my shoes in women’s shoe stores. I live in an extremely tolerant city. My job and financial well-being are not threatened by it. My relationship is not an issue, and in fact has been improved by it. My social network is a relatively small concern. I have my hair, and it turns out to be curly and fun. I have a relatively feminine voice. I find it easy to walk in heels. I have a decent fashion sense. Feminine posture has actually helped my back problems. Janie’s presence in my life is the answer to a number of personal issues (maybe not the best answer, but not a bad answer). I could go on…
It’s almost as if it would be ungracious to turn my back on all that…
Shirley Corning
See, Now who says you can’t have everything? lol Oh you little temptress in your pretty picture. What is that look in your eyes? Upon seeing it the first thought that came to mind was, “Oooooh, pretty!” and Michael Jackson singing Dangerous. lol
Shirley xoxo
cdjanie
You’re always a ray of joy, Shirley. 🙂
paula
Sounds like it was meant to be…. why fight it, just bow to the inevitable, and enjoy the process
cdjanie
Thanks, Paula… what a nice thing to say. 🙂
gwen
If I were as beautiful as you!!!…….ahh, but the grass is always greener. It’s easy for me to say what I might do were I blessed with your natural advantages, but you are a stunner! I think Paula hit it–don’t fight what seems natural. We all know that leads nowhere.
xoxo
cdjanie
Thanks, Gwen, very sweet 🙂
altered10940
I wish that I was able to pass so easily but then again if I could would I always want to be Alice.? I do get frustrated at how long it does take me to become Alice. You are lucky in it looks as if you don’t have to do much to switch to your femme self, and as long as you have a partner who accepts her go with it and enjoy the best of both worlds.
cdjanie
Interesting question: if it were easy, would I want to do it all the time? That is one the telling signs for me that this really works for me, in that no matter how often I do it, it is never too much. But everyone is different, and I am sure there are those who would find that the joy goes out of it if it is too accessible. It is a similar phenomenon to, say, loving to cook and then opening a restaurant and getting sick of it pretty quickly.
shantown
As a way of giving my own checks and balances (I guess), I try to sit back from time to time and ponder if at least some of the attraction of all of this, at some point, is simply the allure of being able to “get away with something”…flaunt society’s rules, however right or wrong those rules may be. Is it so comfortable and “right” to me because “guys don’t do that”, yet I am…and I enjoy it so?!?! Is it just a rebel in me, finding expression? If so, to any degree, then what happens if I were to transition, and am ME fulltime. What does the rebel do then? Will it still seem so “right”? Will I be happy, or will that rebel yearn for something else to rebel against? I dunno. Maybe that’s why therapy is required for a girl to transition. Hmmmm
It’s just a “devil’s advocate” thing ….make sure you’re
doing this for the right reasons, Shannon. (Oh dear,
now I’m talking to myself). lol
Don’t send the white coats after me. I’m okay. Just
thinking out loud here in the classroom. I’ve heard it
said that just because something is available, and easy
for you to do, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the
right thing for you to do.
Gees! Why’d they have to go and say that? 🙂
cdjanie
And there I was basking in the loving and positive comments of the four before you when you come and spoil the party. 😛 Of course, you are right – just because you can, just because it is easy doesn’t make it the right thing. All kinds of vices fall into that category, as well as never confronting one’s true demons. But sometimes one find it easy or finds themselves able to do something precisely because it is the right thing, because it’s natural, because they are suited to it. How can you tell the difference?
shantown
Oh dear…you asking me? I was hoping you’d answer that one for us. Then again, there are probably as many right answers there as there are people asking. Bottom line, that answer has to come from inside of us. I don’t know that anybody else can tell us if it’s right or not….yet we all want somebody else to make that call for us…tell us what to do.
Sorry for the downer. Didn’t mean to poop the party.
dale ford
Jane we all go through life with that little doubt tucked in our subconscious. It’s what we do that defines us when faced with it. I say never turn your back on something that makes you stronger and more aware of yourself and your gifts that you have been blessed with. I find me being Samantha as a plus I take better care of myself and it allows me to find my true being from within.
cdjanie
Beautiful.
Ashley
Size, proportions, facial features, etc are all helpful, but there also has to be an inner self that wishes to manifest itself in order for a compelling presentation. It becomes very clear to an observer if you’re putting on an act or pretending. If you’re genuine in your presentation you will be accepted as female (or male) regardless of features, size or proportions. It really and truly comes from within. So if you’re wondering if Janie will continue, my guess is she will because she is part of you; perhaps a major part or even the only part you wish to share with the world.
shantown
Well said Ashley. That true inner self is the key. I think the acceptance part has a lot to do with where we seek it, and from whom. Sadly, the most genuine and sincere girls in the world can still face rejection. IMHO, that is the most dangerous place for any of us. The genuine, sincere presentation is rejected, and that inner self feels hopelessly abandoned and alone.
Shirley Corning
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh come on ladies,
1. It’s right because you’re doing nothing wrong.
2. Reject rejection.
3. No one has ever gotten tired of it.
4. Passing or not, smile and carry on.
Nervy bitch that I am I have no qualms about pulling the pin on an unqualified conversational grenade and casually lobbing it into the middle of a discussion then politely asking, “So how was that for you dear?”
Now isn’t it intertesting that if you pass as a man you’re treated like one and if you pass as a woman you’re treated like one but if you don’t pass then you’re treated like none of the above. What?! Some kind of other?! Yep. I get a lot of that since I’m easily read when dealing directly with people but I’m getting no rejection at all in public despite being out as Shirley almost everyday since March 15th. Go figure. I love it.
I’d write another book but I have to get my lovable self together and run some errands.
Do carry on loves,
Shirley xoxo
Lisa Kaufmann
Hi Janie, Many of us envy you and your opportunities. As Shirley said, when we dress as a lady we are treated as a lady. That is enough to keep us going and become who we feel we are destined to be. You are lucky enough to have some great features that make it easier for you than others and you are so pretty when you take the time to complete Janie. If you ever get to the Milwaukee area…..
Have a great day and please keep sending the blog and pictures.
Hugs, Lisa
cdjanie
Aww, Lisa, thank you so much. I do feel I am fortunate, but I sure hope I didn’t come off as gloating or bragging; I am just counting my lucky stars. And, as I alluded to in my post, it is really those of us who overcome tougher circumstances that are the ones worth looking up to. Hugs back, Janie 🙂
Al n Vegas
HI Jane, first off, yes you are an adorable looking femme girl. You are so right about you have everything going for you in a good way. To be able to look like the girl you know you are; not to worry about size, height, or clothes sizes are great. So many other’s don’t have that good luck.. so good for you ENJOY!